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When Someone Won’t Repay: The Playbook

An unpaid family loan has stages, and each stage has better and worse moves. This hub walks the escalation path in order — from the first awkward reminder to a trustee’s Proof of Claim — with a deep-dive guide at every step.

Curated & reviewed July 3, 2026 · Lend Right Editorial Team · a RULE8 Inc. product

The escalation ladder

Step one is a conversation, not a threat. Most family defaults are cash-flow embarrassment, not refusal — a calm reminder that references the schedule (or proposes a written revision) recovers more money than any demand letter. Step two is the paper test: when repayment talk turns into “that was a gift,” the outcome depends almost entirely on what was documented when the money moved. Step three is formal: a demand letter, then small claims in your province. And step four is the one nobody plans for: the borrower files a consumer proposal or bankruptcy, and your loan becomes a claim in an insolvency — with strict deadlines and its own paperwork.

The guides below cover each rung. Read the one that matches where you are today.

Guides by stage

Stage 1: The loan has gone quiet
Reminders, renegotiation, and keeping the relationship intact
Stage 2: Your formal options
What you can actually do, with and without a written contract
“It was a gift” — family edition
Beating the gift defence with evidence from the time of transfer
“It was a gift” — friend edition
Same defence, different presumptions between friends
Stage 3: Small claims, province by province
Limits, deadlines, and filing basics across Canada
Stage 4: They filed a consumer proposal
What an unsecured lender gets, and how to file a Proof of Claim
Verifying an insolvency claim
How to check the OSB records when someone says they’ve filed
Your note in their proposal
What a signed document is worth inside an insolvency

Next time, start with the paper

The lenders who never need this playbook are the ones who signed first.

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Quick answers

What's the first thing to do when a family loan goes unpaid?

Talk before you escalate. Reference the agreed schedule specifically, ask what changed, and offer to revise the plan in writing. A documented loan makes this conversation short; an undocumented one makes it the whole battle.

They're claiming the money was a gift — is that the end of it?

No, but it becomes an evidence contest. Courts look for indications from the time of the transfer: an agreement, contemporaneous messages, any repayments made. Documentation created before the dispute beats recollection offered during it.

Can I still recover anything if they filed a consumer proposal?

Usually something, rarely everything. As an unsecured creditor you file a Proof of Claim with the Licensed Insolvency Trustee and receive dividends under the proposal's terms. Miss the process and you may get nothing — the deadlines are real.

Is suing family ever worth it?

Sometimes — small claims is cheap and self-serve — but weigh the full cost: filing, time, collection after judgment, and the relationship. The strongest position is the one where the paperwork makes suing unnecessary.

Lend Right provides self-help document automation and general information, not legal or tax advice; no lawyer-client relationship is created. Court limits and rates change — verify with official sources. For complex situations, consult a licensed lawyer in your province.